What is your Calling

Jacmel Bay new post (HERE)

I guess I planted them

This afternoon I went out to the garden to check on/admire the plants that I added yesterday. Tomatoes, herbs, cucumbers, watermelon and lots of zinnias. They were doing nicely and it was satisfying seeing the fruit of my labor starting to take shape in my spring garden. I was looking at the red tulips when I noticed- them. Delicate bluebells growing along the boarder of the flowerbed. With a smile I thought that I did not remember planting them. But I did. Because if I did not they would not be there. I bought the bulbs, I dug the soil, I planted the bulbs and much to my surprise they grew in all their sweetness...they grew..just because I planted them.I didn't make them grow. I just planted them. I thought about my garden. Each plant, each flower represented my labor. It didn't seem like work at the time. It was dirty..and sometimes hard but it was a delight and more fun than work. My husband and I raised three daughters. Being a mother was a wonder and a delight for me. I can honestly say that it was not hard. Yes sometimes it was work- but I truly enjoyed it. And sometimes now I am surprised and delighted to see they things that have grown in their lives. Things I don't remember planting but I must have or they would not be there.My girls are smart and funny and compassionate. They are creative and gifted in so many ways. The way they read to their children and sing to them. Even the fact that they hold tightly the same beliefs I have about the importance of breast feeding and not allowing TV to have a major influence in their children's lives. I never told my girls "You make sure you breast feed your children." But they did know how delightful and important it was to me...and so...it just grew..I planted it. I did not make it grow. I just planted it. How wonderful it is to see these surprises pop up in their lives. Back to the garden.. Gardening is not all blossoms and fresh vegetables. There are lots of weeds. They start out pretty slowly. They creep in around the boarders. Sometimes we don't even notice them. And as the gardener I certainly did not set out to plant them there. But here is the fact. They grow because of my neglect. If weeds take over it is because I did not stop them. I allowed them. So it is in my own life. In my personal life I have not set out to be undisciplined or messy or careless but sometimes that is my garden. So as adults if my children struggle in different areas of their lives, if they have some of the same weaknesses that I have...well just as certain as I planted the bluebells that gave them the good characteristics ...well I also allowed the weeds... I think I'll dwell on the bluebells as continue to attack my weeds. Thank you God for the beauty and delights of my garden. Thank you more for the beauty and delights of my daughters..

Article about Jacmel Bay!

So excited to stumble on (this link) online today!

Remember

A day to remember. And never forget.

Today is a very somber anniversary. It is a also a day of amazing thanksgiving. This past week when my grandbaby Johanna ate her first piece of birthday cake it kind of smacked me. This year could have been very different. Johanna could have had this special day without her mama there to sing her birthday song and make her birthday cake..and hold her and nurse her. I wrote about this shorty after Gretchen came home. (here) As I reread my words I remembered...and now I remember and give thanks. God choose not to leave Katie, Micah, Abbie and Johanna without a mom. I love God. I just do. I would love him if the story ended differently but I am thankful that it didn't.

Tonight I sit in a hotel room across from the main entrance to Duke Medical Center. Four years ago..a lifetime ago.. Remembering... It washed over me as I drove down the street..entered the front door..looked at the fountain and stood there with tears remembering the sweet voice of 4 yr. old Nia as she threw her coins in the fountain "Jesus, I wish that my little brother Josiah would get all better." In her tender faith she seemed to know that "wishes" only come true when they are prayers.

Open heart surgery for Josiah. Evie with a mass behind her heart. My mom closing her eyes and waking up in heaven. Lisa loosing her battle but winning the prize. An earthquake that rocked my world. Gretchen's coming back home..alive...

Life is made up of these things..hard things....but I can't/won't forget. In the dark days we come to understand..everything that we need to understand. God is able. God is faithful. Even when we are unable and unfaithful. Even when we think the story does not have a happy ending.

Remembering and thanking you Jesus.

A new page

I have added a new blog page which will be linked to my new (not yet published) website. :)
Visit me there :) jacmelbay.blogspot.com
jacmelbay.com

A Second Chance

Lettie does not know that she has big shoes to fill. She doesn't not know that she will forever be compared to the one who lived before her. She will not even know that she was a second chance.
When we adopted our first Lab mix from the SPCA is was my daughter Melody who 'found' her. About two years old she grew to become everything a dog owner would want. Her name was "Fancy" but we were just not the kind of people that could call a dog by that name. We changed her name to Chancey because she was given a second chance and it sounded kinda like fancy so we fighured it woul not confuse her.
When Chancey died last spring Steve and I had a hard time with it. ( I wrote about Chancey here: )
Up until today I would still miss her when I pulled up to the house and found it empty.
About two weeks ago I took my grandson Josiah to see the dogs at the SPCA. All the noise freaked him out so we left without seeing 'her'.
The next day I saw a picture of the "Pet of the Week" in the local newspaper. The face of a young Chancey stared back from the page at me. My heart melted. "Good with children, house broken...." Steve and I knew that one day we would want another dog. We also knew we would know her when we saw her. And there she was. I handed the paper to Steve and he read the caption. What I had missed I heard now and it stuck in my throat. Something about Lettie needing a "second chance". We knew it. She was out dog. Steve called first thing in the morning. We were too late..she was taken. Our hearts sank...
On a way outside chance I called back. "I know Lettie is gone but if she gets returned will you please let me know." Less than two weeks later she is asleep on her little dog bed behind my chair. Already she is working her way into our hearts. Watching her play fetch with the grandchildren I realize that while she will never replace Chancey she will be very much a part of out life.
I am thankful that God cared enough to not only give Lettie a second chance but that He gave us a second chance as well.
Welcome home Lettie.

You can sing this song when I'm gone.

Last night as I tucked in my little Haitian American grandchildren on the last night of their visit I sang them the same song that I sang every night of their visit. This visit, the last visit, every visit. The same song I sang to my own sweet children as I tucked them into their beds long ago and far away. When did I sing the last lullaby to my own children? When did I last read them a bedtime story? When did they last crawl up on my Mama lap for comfort or rest? If I had known that any of those times were the last time I would have held them tighter or sang just one more verse...

Last night as I sang to the children I had to choke back the tears. To say goodbye once again. I know as I attempt to clean up from 2 weeks of nine grandchildren in the house I will find stray socks, unfinished apples, colored pictures with the words "To Nana" printed on the top of the page. What blessing..

When James Taylor first sang this song did he know I would carry it in my heart? Did he know that when I came to the line "But I can sing this song, and you can sing this song when I'm gone?" that I would be thinking about my grandchildren returning to PA, and to Haiti and thinking also about the day when I will actually be gone? Hoping that my children and my grandchildren would sing this song to their children and their grandchildren and somehow it would connect us even when i am not here? Not being morbid..just real...

But now, today.. the song says that the distance that divides us, the cultures that separate us, the days, weeks and months that stand between us can dissolve when we close our eyes and listen to a lullaby.

James Taylor - Your Can Close Your Eyes

(here is a link to my favorite lullaby:)

Close Your Eyes- James Taylor