We moved to the Outer Banks in 1995. It was a big scary move! Steve and I were both raised in Southampton NY. We married in 74 and then raised our daughters for the most part in NJ.
North Carolina was like another planet. We loved it right away but we were so far from our friends and families. We made a new life in spite of not having the comfort of an extended family near by.
And then a miracle happened...
Nearly sixteen years ago I was standing behind the counter of the post office were I had been a clerk since relocating to the area having transferred from the Postal facility were I worked up North. I love how friendly people are in the south and was casually chatting with a customer. Noticing that her parcel was addressed to Freeport, NY I commented " My aunt used to live in Freefort." She replied "I lived there for a while but I was raised in the next town over. In Baldwin." This was the town my parents were from! Having no one in line behind her I asked her what year she was born and determined that she was six years younger than my father (who had passed away 3 months prior to our conversation.) and she was about 4 years younger than my mother. So I started naming off my mother's younger siblings thinking maybe she went to school with one of them. None of the names rang a bell.
Then I said "My mother was as Muller and my father was a Tozzi" At this there was a notable shift in the atmosphere. My customer exclaimed "Joe Tozzi?!!!! Joe Tozzi was my brother!" I honestly went weak.
And that is how I met my Aunt Gloria. Nearly fifty years and more than 500 miles had tried to keep us apart. But God had another plan. Aunt Gloria had never met my father or her 4 half sisters. She only had a memory to meeting her father (my grandfather) once. She told me she had a vivid memory of his gold watch that she admired when she sat on his lap. As she described it to me I instantly knew the watch. In fact my nephew still has it.
After Aunt Gloria left the post office I was thinking how terrible it had been for her. She had a lot of difficulties in her childhood because of my grandfather. I thought how this could make it harder for her. The next day while waiting on a customer I looked up and saw this little woman who I could now see family in her eyes waiting patiently to approach me. When the line cleared up she pushed a bag of containing home made strawberry jelly over the counter and said " I always cook when I'm nervous." Which was good for me because I always eat when I'm nervous.
In no time at all we bonded. We both fell back in to our Long Island rhythm of speech and humor. We visited often.
We needed each other. We each filled in a missing piece. Because my father left when I was four I also had not known my father's family. She loved me. I loved her. We 'got' each other.
Aunt Gloria moved to Rhode Island for several years to be near one of her sons. She lived in senior housing there for a time but we still kept in touch. She would often send me gifts. Boxes of rummage sale ornaments and decorations that she thought me or my grandchildren would enjoy. She loved glitter and tacky. And I love her and that fact that these gifts represented so much more than things.
After her son in RI passed away tragically and her health began to decline she came back to live on the Outer Banks with her oldest son.
It was so good to be close again.I tried to visit her at least once a week when I was in town and we had many lunch dates and outing and doctor visits. Doctor visits were interesting since I knew more of her family medical history than she did. Some days we just sat in the house is she was tired and she would show me photos and tell me stories. And we laughed. We always laughed.
It was approaching Christmas last year and she asked me to take her shopping. First we went to the Dollar Tree where she was dazzled by every tacky Christmas ornament she saw. She bought a reindeer head band for herself and I think snow globe for her daughter in law. Then we went to her favorite shopping place The Christmas Shop in Manteo. There she was like a child. Finally she grew tired and bought some nice chocolates for her son.
This was a Friday afternoon and I was heading out of town for a few weeks.
Then I got the call.
Aunt Gloria had a stroke and was not expected to live. A few days later I sat by her side in the hospital. I talked to her. I prayed with her. I cried.
To everyone's surprise she did not die. Her condition however did not improve enough for her to go home and she was moved in to a nursing home.
For the next seven or eight months I spent my Friday afternoons visiting her in her new home. I could tell she was 'still there' but as hard as she tried speaking she was only able to get out an occasional."Oh shit!" or sentences that would trail off.
Now it was my turn. After years of hearing the same stories over and over I now knew them well enough to tell them back to her. I was leave a sentence dangling and many times she could fill in the last word. She would always smile at the right places in the story.
We played bingo. Kind of. We took snap chat photos.I fed her ice cream.We went outside to sit in the courtyard. When I ran out of things to talk about we just sat.
Towards the end Aunt Gloria was nearly non responsive. It was then that I started listening to old hymns on my phone with her. I would sing along and I would always pray with her before I left.
One afternoon I went on YouTube and pulled up an old Billy Graham sermon. As he got started preaching he said "Open your bible to Luke." Then he said "Raise your hand if you brought your bible." At this Aunt Gloria (who had been laying there silent and still for our visit) shot her hand straight up in the air!
Every time I left I told her that I was not sure if I would see her again on earth. I told her she was my favorite. I told her that I knew we would be together again. Then I would ask the Lord to welcome her home. And He did.
This long story is to say that I miss her. A lot. Especially when I see tacky Christmas ornaments. And reindeer headbands. Especially on Friday afternoons.
Aunt Gloria and I had a miracle relationship. Our story could only have come from the hands of a loving Father. My heart is filled with gratitude.
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