What's in your closet?

Yesterday when a co-worker said "It must be so hard for you having your grandchildren in Haiti with cholera going around." I told her that I had confidence in Gwenn and Nick's ability to care for the children in their home. She responded "And God will take care of them because they are doing His work." I shared with her that sometimes he does not protect missionaries from these things but it is still the right thing to do. I really had peace that as bad as this cholera is that at this time I am not frightened for my family.
When I got off work and read Gwenn's email saying that their upcoming furlough had to be postponed I was disappointed but called her to say that if if were me I would make the same decision. And I meant it. Things have been very stressful lately. People are believing lies and the stress of constantly having put out fires is exhausting work. Holding your tongue when you want to speak, when you want to not turn the other cheek is hard work. So I totally get it and understood why this decision had to be made.
Because I understand and have completely bought into the mission of Joy in Hope in Jacmel I really can take these fears and disappointment with a level of maturity that even sometimes shocks me. I will not whine and complain when I do not get my way. There are too many other things to consider. So I am good with this...
Until...
I was cleaning up and went to put something in the closet. THE CLOSET. The closet that is home to hidden gifts and the Christmas clothing. I bought everything on super doper clearance last year after Christmas. I have 9 American grandchildren so that is a lot of clothing. For months I have considered how I would set up the Christmas Card picture. I finally decided and bought some matching shirts for the boys. Everything was in place except the children....
That is when it hit me..there would be no Christmas photo this year. Al least not one with 9 grandchildren in polka dots and checks.And I cried. I am amazed by my reaction.
Part of me thinks what a trivial thing to be concerned about! And it is. But deeper is what those photos represent. They represent family.They represent a family who has come through a very difficult year who has made it! They represent unity and strength that lays the foundation for future generations.
I still think that Gwenn and Nick are making good decisions. I am not in any way wanting to lay some guilt out there for them to carry along with the other burdens that they must carry at the moment. I am really just searching myself.I imagine that the closet door was just a trigger for the emotions that I need to keep inside for self and family preservation. I am so grateful for the other American grandchildren who will still be here. I am blessed beyond measure. And I mean that with everything in me. God is faithful. I am blessed..I am blessed..I am blessed..no mater what is in my closet. Picture or no picture.