The Magical One

Some birthdays are more memorable than others.
The earliest one I remember was when I turned four. I remember being allowed to sit in my father's seat at he head of the table when I got my cake.
When I turned 10 my mom took me and 9 of my friends bowling. When we got to the car all of my gifts were stolen..The next day a parcel arrived at my mother's work with a gift from someone who heard my story on the radio. Until I was married I received a gift from this secret friend each birthday.
When I was 14 I had plans to go out with my friends but Kathy (my sister in law) convinced me that it was best to do the family cake thing. I caved in, had cake and then babysat as the rest of the family went out to a movie! (love you Kathy, you are not so mean now :)
When I turned 40 I had just moved to the Outer Banks. Melody and I were in a small apartment at Morrison Grove. Steve was still up north. When I came home Melody ( who was in 7th grade) had decorated the apartment and made a cake and dinner and invited our neighbor Kevin Carter (a 17 yrs. old surfer boy) to join us. Kevin said to me something like "You're so phatt." but I heard "You're so fat."
There are other memorable moments ...Aunt Bam always having a cake and little gifts from each person who was there so you always had lots of things to open was a favorite memory.
But this year is my magical year. Now I use that word because that is the word my kids have coined as they tease me about my special day. But it really was special. I was born October 10, 1955. I turned 55 on 10-10-10. Everything about it is 10.
In the Bible the number 10 is a number of wholeness and completion. Five is the number of grace. I see both of these as revel ant to who I am today. I feel like I am at the time of my life when I have a deep, abiding satisfaction with my life. I feel like I am growing unencumbered by what people think of me and regardless of my circumstances. This satisfaction does not mean that I don't still have pain, sorrow or discouragement. This satisfaction has more to do with the understanding that God has placed me here for a purpose and I now get that I can't change the whole world but I can touch and bring comfort to the small part of the world that God has revealed to me. The satisfaction also comes from really understanding that my satisfaction has nothing to do with my 'stuff'. I like my 'stuff' but I don't need it and sometimes I don't even want it.
My satisfaction comes from knowing I have something to offer. And from knowing that I don't have to be a people pleaser. And from victory over fear. That is a big one. Do I ever feel fear? Sometimes.But I realize that it is a choice I make and does not have to be an automatic response.
The satisfaction also comes from having a husband who loves and respects me. This I know is huge and not every marriage has this.I respect him and love him. There is great satisfaction in a marriage that has continued nearly four decades and is not only intact but is strong and alive.
The satisfaction seeing how my children have grown up and what their lives have become is a reward that I can not even describe. Grand children's laughter and sloppy kisses are the gift wrapping on this gift of satisfaction that I have been given.
It's ok if my children tease me about this 'magical' birthday. I know it's not magic. But I see it as a truly special moment in time when God speaks to me and says "Denise, Happy Birthday. Here is a special day for you to always remember." I love it when he speaks my name.