Gretchen's Dreams

She was just over two years old. I was a brand new Christian. This is how God used two year old Gretchen to change my life. This is how 32 years later He used her dreams to touch the hearts of her own children.
Gretchen was a talker. I think from birth. I remember when they placed her in my arms she did not cry but opened her eyes wide to look, really look into mine. Much the same way her 12 day old Johanna does with me now. I remember thinking "This is a very smart baby." I was right. No joke. One of the smartest I know. But I digress.
When Gretchen was just over two years old she started to have these nightmares. She normally slept thought the night in her toddler bed in her room some 20 ft. down the hall from where her daddy and I slept. One night I heard a blood curdling scream coming from her room. Not a whimper or a cry but an honest to goodness scream. I rushed to her bedside and tried to calm her down. As she did she unraveled her nightmare to me. She was in the large box elder tree in our backyard in a cube (?). There was a large black dog that was trying to jump up and get her. He was a bad dog with big teeth. I finally was able to get her back to sleep.
The following night was a repeat of the first. Same dog. Same dream. Then another repeat on night 3. On night four I tucked Gretchen into bed and mustering up my new found faith in Jesus I prayed "Jesus please don't let Gretchen have a 'cube dream' tonight." The night was peaceful. No nightmares. I thought "This Jesus thing works!"
It was about 3 AM on night 5 and I felt a tiny hand touch my shoulder. My pretty little blond toddler (what?? you thought that red hair was real??) leaned over and whispered to me "Mommy, I had a cube dream." My initial reaction was "oh no." It did not occur to me that there had been no scream this time until Gretchen said "No mommy, it's OK. Tonight Jesus was in the 'cube' with me. He took me down from the tree and let me pet the dog." My view of Jesus grew radically that night and I would have to say that it became a foundation of my faith. I learned that sometimes Jesus can remove the thing that is haunting you and sometimes he will allow you to confront your nightmare with Him at your side. "True love casts out fear." (btw..did you know that Jesus looks like Mr. Rogers? how cool is that??)
When Gretchen fell critically ill last Sat. it became my charge and my honor to oversee the care of her newborn baby Johanna and Katie 8, Micah 6 and Abbie 5.
Abbie has been the quickest to express grief over her parents absence. Crying several times during the day "I miss my mommy." Katie has taken over the mother's helper role often holding baby Johanna and feeding her a bottle. Micah has been stony with his emotions.
Tonight as I tucked Gretchen's children into bed I spend extra time with them just to connect.Abbie was once again began to cry "I miss my mommy!" But this time she added "I'm scared something bad is going to happen to her." At this point I looked over to see Micah's shoulders rising and falling as he wept silently under his blankets. I called him over and held him close. And then I remembered his mother's 'cube' dream some 32 years ago. I was able to share this story with them.Not denying their fear, but acknowledge that we have fears but we also have someone who will come into the 'cube' with us and help us first to face the fear and finally to conquer it.
I know the children will continue to miss Gretchen and even to be afraid at times. But I thank God for my 2 year old's nightmares that could speak trust and comfort to her own loved children.