It Just wasn't right :(

Today I had to take a quick to Raleigh for a seminar for work. Steve drove with me because he is just nice that way. He got to go to Gwenn and Nick's church and then go out to lunch with Nick's partents while I was in the meeting. (no fair..right?)
After he picked me up I told him I wanted to get something not McDonald's or Subway to eat. So he took me to Panarra's (sp??) When I stepped out of the car it hit me. I wanted to cry and in fact I am pretty much spilling tears now. Gwenn is not here.I go to Pannara's with Gwenn. She is in Haiti. Nick and Nia and Nico and Josiah are not here.They are in Haiti.We stopped at the Farmer's Market. They wern't there either. I know this is normal but I think I am having a bit of a delayed reaction. Really..it hasn't been that long since I saw them. Just over a month..but still.. I can't just pick up the phone. I turn on the computer I hope Gwenn is on line. I think once they move into a home there instead of an apartment in Port..(long story on this one) I will feel more settled knowing they are more finally nesting. I am so glad ALL my girls didn't move to Haiti. On the other hand if they did it might be easier..we would have to move too..Meanwhile I'll wait for the Skype notice to signal that Gwenn is online. And wait for all three of my girls to blog and be thankful that I have a family to miss. Family in Haiti, PA, NY,SC and even my family in heaven.And thankful I have family right around the corner to play with.

yay ! yard sales

Today I earned $91.00 at a yard sale that I didn't even go to! Gretchen and Jon let me piggy back with their sale. So now I am 20% ready to buy my next plane ticket to Haiti and I got rid of some junk at the same time!I love yard sales and I love my kids for doing all the work!

In Another Life

The day warm and fair. The atmosphere downtown Manteo was cheerful and light. My husband and I sat at dinner waiting for the phone call. When it came that Josiah had arrived, all 9 1/2+ pounds of him we were elated. Minutes later the world came tumbling down around us as we got the call "Mommy, something is very wrong!" came the frightened, panicked voice of my daughter Gwenn. It was one of those dream like times that seems so surreal now. How could this have only been two years ago on the first of June?? I remember every detail as if it were some dreadful movie I had once seen but not my own grandmother experience.It was only later that Gwenn and Nick learned and shared with us that the name Josiah means "God heals". Now at two years old the only evidence of the night mare is the scar, the battle scar that runs down his chest. He is strong, rough and fearless. His mother just says "He's a mess!" (a term of endearment in the south)I think now of the past two years and it does not seem that life could change more for a family than has changed for Gwenn and Nick. Josiah's surgery,Nico finally coming home from Haiti and then the road to and the actual event of moving to Haiti. So I will miss Josiah's birthday. But I will think of him often. The infamous day of his birth haunting my memories and the grateful heart for Josiah-God heals.

Question for bloggers

I have one of those live feed applications on my blog so I can see where people who read my blog are located. It's fun to see and guess who the readers may be. So most of the time I have about 7-10 readers a day. But today, in the course of about 6 minutes I had 14 hitts from 7 different countries.So why would there be that sudden abnormal activity?? Any guesses??

No Greater Love

No greater love has a man than this-that he would lay down his life for a friend.
This is a picture of a high school friend of Gwenn's.
This picture is Memorial Day. Not grills on sale. Picnics or sleeping late. Where is the Happy in "Happy Memorial Day"? I am not judging people for this. It is just sad to me that our culture forgets so quickly....

Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be. A new grill.

Today Steve and I went to Home Depot to get a grill. They were on sale for Memorial Day. What grills on sale have to do with soldiers sacrificing for our freedom is beyond me. Seriously...but I digress.So we decided to not go back to the $99.00 variety because that would be like a dog going back on his vomit. Just not pretty. One season and they rust out. Which is really not similar to a dog and vomit.It's more like a penny in battery acid or something like that.
So we get this grill on sale for $200. It's nice. Four burners and one of those pretty much useless side burners. I reject the floor model because the stainless steel top has a mark where a sticker has been and it marred the surface somewhat.After all if you are paying $200 for something it shouldn't be all messed up before you even use it.They ofter to put another one together for us. Of course we accept and wander around the store while we wait. I want to get an outdoor showers cause the grandchildren are forever dumping buckets loads of sand down my drain when they bathe. We don't have the same idea about how this should work so I postpone the project until a son in law or two can help me figure it out. Not Nick cause he is in Haiti and I don't think plumbing is one of his mad skills.Figuring out how to ride a tap tap to the hospital is what he does best. I know this because Gwenn said that on facebook today.
So we go back to the garden dept. where said grill has been assembled and is waiting with a box containing a nice new grill cover to protect our shinny grill from the weather. What it really need was someone to protect it from the truck. It fell down twice on the way home.It wasn't scrathed too badly. And here is the great part.We didn't get all freaked out. The first time it was like "what was that??" We pulled over and there she lay. Face down in the bed of the truck. We pick it up and strat over. A few minutes larer "Crash!!" and down it goes again. I know you are wondering why we did not have proper tie downs. Well when the grandchildren wanted to pretend that they were horses and pull each other around in the Radio Flyer wagon Grandad had to get rope from somewhere. He had the perfect thing in the tool box of the truck. I bought a handi-dandi 12 pack of bungee cords.They cost $6.97. They did not work so well.
With this frustration Steve and I never got riled. We didn't point fingers. We didn't stress over the a few scratches in the grill.)Even though I rejected the floor model, these were after all our own scratches.) We were thankful tonight to eat our steak cooked over this nice new grill.
We also cleaned out the shed today. Long over due. Steve moved all the heavy stuff and did all the sweating. I picked through all the boxes and sorted keep from toss or sell.Anyone want to buy some of Melody's cassette tapes..??? How about 3 copies of the same English Lit book from her freshmen year at college.Melody, why 3 copies??
I could also sell you her journal from that year but that would not be nice. Actually, it might be. She is a great writer. Steve and I did not argue even one time about which pile to put something in. It is great to grow old together and have a relationship where you work together and not argue. So if you have been married for 35 years, don't argue with your spouse.Life is too short to waste on blame shifting, petty arguments and wasted words. Be friends, it's better that way.

Faith in the Playhouse

OUR AWESOME PLAY HOUSE

Today I was reading the faith chapter in Hebrews and then read a devotional by Oswald Chambers about faith. He was saying that faith is a gift.
I see that faith as big as a mustard seed when planted grows more faith.
I keep a baby monitor turned on in the kitchen when the children are playing in the play house. It's kinda fun to ease drop but I really do it so I know that they are okay. The door handle in the play house is a little messed up and sometimes cause the door to seem to be stuck closed. One day Abbie was playing out there with Nico and I hear her telling him "Oh no! It's stuck! we can't get out!" and she starts crying. Of course I went right out and opened the door and reminded her that I was listening on the monitor and all she had to do was say "Nanny, the door is stuck. Can you come help me?" A little while later I heard "Nanny, the door is stuck. Can you help me? OH NO! SHE CAN'T HEAR ME!! and she started to cry. A few seconds later I opened the door again and explained to her that just because she could not hear me did not mean that I could not hear her.
Yesterday, she went to play once again in the play house. A while later I heard "Nanny, the door is stuck. Can you come help me?" I went right out and Abbie said "Did you hear me when I talked to you?"
Slowly she is getting it. Each time I could hear her. Each time I went quickly to help her. The first time there was complete panic because she did not even realize I was there. The next time she knew I was there but could not really trust that I had heard her. The third time she readily accepted my presence but still expressed a little doubt that I had heard her. Next time she will have more confidence that when she calls I will answer.
So it is with God. God deposits that seed of faith in us. At first we don't even recognize His presence. The seed grows and it is not our actions that make the faith grow but God's reaction to our cry for help. We see him show up time after time and slowly our confidence grows and our faith becomes strong. So much so that we don't have to see Him to know He is there. We don't have to heard Him to know He will answer. We just know because time after time He has shown Himself faithful even when we had no faith at all.