Bigsby

When I read Gwenn's blog tonight I was so sadden to read that their puppy Bigsby died. And even now I just can't seem to shake it. Maybe it is not just the puppy. But he was the best puppy I ever met.Really. He almost made me want to get a puppy. And I am pretty much not a puppy person. Oh yeah, he nipped at your feet and chased after the little kids and made them scream. But to hear Fritzie shreak with laughter as she played with that puppy made my heart so glad. There was 15 yr. old Fritzie riding around the courtyard on Nia's tiny bike dragging a broom stick and Bigsby chasing behind. It was so precious to watch Fritzie just being a happy kid. The cruel reality is that Haiti has taken so much of what we think of as 'normal' childhood delights away from so many children. They know too much about death and life and hunger and seperation. So maybe that is why I am so sad about Bibsy. He represented to me the simple joys of childhood. Each day during my week in Haiti we commented about how much bigger Bigsy was than the day before. It was amazing to watch him grow. Now he's gone.
When I was a little girl we had a beautiful white German Shepherd named Lobo.She was my friend. I remember telling her my troubles. Our lives were full of insecurites at that time. My parents splitup and while moving to my grandmohter's house the cat jumped out of the car and we never found her. Lobo had to go live with an aunt for a while but one day there was a surprise waiting for us. Lobo was home. She brouht stability and comfort and protection. The day that she was hit by a car and died my grandmother came over and cried with us. Did she feel then like I do now? Did she know my childhood fears and pains were wrapped up into the emotions I felt for that dog? I know that Gwenn's kids do not have years of emotions invested in to this puppy. But Gwenn's Haitian children have already lost so much in their shorts lives. It pains me to see them loose something else.
Maybe this is just God wanting me to process something. Or to understand something...maybe it is just a good time to be thankful for a grandmother who cried with me. So that now..I can cry for them.